The report of the FFM and the successive efforts in a year-long justice campaign for the victims proved that Nilo, Resteta and Soledad were killed during that fateful encounter . As though their deaths were not enough, the perpetrators ensured that we, the victims’ families would have no Nilo, Resteta and Soledad to bury in decent graves fit for human beings.  When my parents in-law together with human rights groups had a dialogue with then Acting Chief of Staff Fidel Ramos, the latter promised orally and in written form that he will do everything he could towards the resolution of the case but nothing concrete was ever achieved up to this day. 

As I continue to try my best to put together the broken pieces of our life shattered by this paralyzing incident, writing has become my refuge. It serves as my public grieving and lamentation. I write during long trips, while waiting for appointments in restaurants and especially during early dawns when the birds kept me company until the coming of a new day. 

With the help of our ever supportive relatives and friends, in the first half of the 1990s, I came out with three books: We Are Your People (1991), The Story I will tell my Children (1992) and Pilgrims (1995).  The three books were published under my pen name, Dahlia Castillejos. 

Dahlia or Dang was the name Nilo gave me when we got married in the revolutionary movement in the Gran Cordillera uplands. I was dearly known and called by the local people in Cordillera by this name. Castillejos is the maiden name of my mother-in-law.  This is my way of thanking her for being the great woman who gave birth to Nilo and who was primarily responsible in rearing him and for loving me like her own daughter by blood since the day I married his son and gave birth to her two lovable grandsons.

Through my books and other writings, I told the world that the barbarism and inhumanity of the olden times had cruelly remained in our day causing grave injustice to victims and their families and the whole of humanity.  Writing on who Nilo was and what the cruel system had done to him has become my way of seeking justice for my husband, for me and our children, for his parents and siblings and for the whole Valerio and Castillejos clan who dearly love him. My writings also served as my small contribution to the continuing justice campaign for all victims of human rights violations regardless of who their perpetrators were. Indeed, I had always been convinced that I had nothing to fear or lose as I keep on writing. Who in this world can fault me when I am but writing directly from my mind, my heart, and my soul?

My conviction as a victim’s wife probably was the factor that led me to work with wives, children, husbands, fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers and friends of victims of involuntary disappearance and other human rights violations – as then Secretary General of the Families of Victims of Involuntary Disappearance, FIND (1995-2001). Victims of involuntary disappearance are internationally known as desaparecidos. I held the same position at the Peace Advocates for Truth, Justice and Healing, PATH (2002-2005). Founded on November 23, 1985, FIND is mandated to focus on state-perpetrated cases of involuntary disappearances while PATH which was founded in October 2002, focuses on UN-defined non-state perpetrated cases particularly the victims during the so-called "purges" within the Communist Party of the Philippines-New People’s Army-National Democratic Front (CPP-NPA-NDF) in the 1980s. The Nilo Valerio Foundation (NVF) was founded around the same time that PATH was established.  

In November 2003, my sons and I together with family friends re-visited the far-flung upland community of Beyeng, Bakun, Benguet. The elderly people who knew us then, cried upon seeing and recognizing my already grown-up sons. More, the spokesperson of the KanKanaey tribe told us that the community is not yet healed and liberated from the memories of the incident two decades ago. This is because an integral part of their culture is to return the remains of those who were killed to their families which until now has still not been done.

Together with FIND and PATH members and officers, I had the chance to help campaign for justice for the victims and their families.  In the process, I came to believe that victims are victims regardless of who the perpetrators are. They and their families and loved ones are all co-members of society so that all victims must be equally afforded with justice.  The pain of losing Nilo sometimes become all the more painful in feeling others’ pains but still, it was a great privilege for me to work with victims’ families, relatives and friends. It truly warms my heart that I was able to contribute to the conceptualization and birthing of the Asian Federation Against Involuntary Disappearances (AFAD). Being one of its council members during the earlier years, I experienced the true spirit of solidarity with organizations for the disappeared in Asia and Latin America as well as solidarity groups in Europe and other countries.  Since its founding, AFAD has been involved in the international movement against involuntary disappearances which is now a joint effort of more than 100 countries world-wide. Along this same vein, I hope that FIND continues to hold on to its earlier commitment to international solidarity.                                      

In August 2001, FIND and AFAD had an audience with President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo. Mrs. Arroyo had been in office for only seven months then. Appealing to her heart as a fellow woman, I told her about our pains of families of desaparecidos and about FIND’s almost two-decade-long campaign for justice. Her response was, "I hope there will be no disappearances in my time." Today, almost five years since that meeting, human rights organizations and families of victims can very well bring to the President’s attention the complete documentation of recent victims of involuntary disappearance and other human rights violations. Amidst the present call for her impeachment due to other alleged cases, we can tell her with a strong, united voice, "Not a single case of a desaparecido has been resolved and involuntary disappearances and other cruel forms of human rights violations are going on unabated in your time."

Meanwhile, the UN Draft Convention on the Protection of All Persons from Enforced or Involuntary Disappearances has been adopted at the UN Human Rights Council in June of this year in Geneva . One of the breakthroughs of this Convention is that it has a provision on cases perpetrated by non-state actors. At this juncture, organizations and federations dedicated to the involuntary disappearance issue face a big task - that of urging the world to get involved in the campaign for the ratification of said Convention at the UN General Assembly in New York this coming November.  Knowing that the Philippine government has been a signatory to so many international human rights covenants, we hope that the present level of international campaign would hasten the enactment into law of the bill against involuntary disappearances which has been filed and re-filed for more than a decade now in the Philippine House of Representatives since 1995, the first author of which was no other than our beloved deceased House Representative Bonifacio Gillego.                  

Integrated in the fabric of my earlier books more particularly, The Story I will tell My Children is the objective of ensuring that Nilo will live forever.  Geared towards the same objective, my sons and I, with the warm support of our relatives and friends, launched the Nilo Valerio Foundation (NVF) on September 15, 2002 in Titus Brandsma, Quezon City . Sad to say, however, with the PHP 1 million-bank account requirement of the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC), the NVF did not qualify for registration. During the NVF Board meeting held last August 7, the body decided to register the NVF with the name – Nilo Valerio Family and Friends. This way, this government’s SEC registration requirement can be more easily met, the NVF being a non-stock, non-profit organization. 

In striving to walk hand in hand with society’s continuing challenges, many things transpired since NVF’s birth.  These modest efforts silently took shape through the voluntary services of Nilo’s family, relatives and friends. These were guided by the board pronouncement during the NVF launching on September 15, 2002 – "Nilo epitomized a strong sense of service with particular regard for the marginalized- the poor and downtrodden, simple lifestyle that is respectful of mother earth, transparency and accountability, and love of principled peace and justice."

The NVF, in its modest efforts, tried its best to be with the poor and the needy for whom our martyrs and heroes, Nilo included, offered their lives. At the end of the day, we hope to be able to say that our self-healing and moving-on as Nilo’s family, relatives and friends was expressed in our efforts to take our place side by side with the deprived, toiling masses as they claim their civil, political, socio-economic and cultural rights long denied them. Thus, as the NVF joins the intensifying campaign against involuntary disappearance and other forms of human rights violations, it also strives to get involved in today’s urgent call for food sovereignty and fair local and international trade.